maja m.

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2012-01-09T09:36:00.000+01:00

this month will be a challenge...
:(

not for her...

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2011-12-30T09:11:00.000+01:00

My nirvana...

Kashmir...

Young, passionate, very worm... What comes after warm? Rationality, logic, sadness, loneliness? Is it warm, or is it just solitude? I can deal with solitude..., can I deal with warm? I keep calling... Fuck, I just realized it... I do keep on calling!!

The fact is, when I do not call, I get a visit...the warm one...

End of the year, tomorrow...but...it's just something modern man crated, because a modern man depends on limits, borders, frames... and...honestly...it's just a date...the next day will be just another day...the sun will rise, to be seen or hidden behind clouds...doesn't matter...maybe just an excuse..., to surrounded with warmth!

Ok...hopefully, everybody's gonna be worm next year, my wish to the rest of the world...

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2011-12-27T10:17:00.001+01:00

this is how it goes...

pure nirvana...

sound something like this...
here 45.51704,13.70048

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2011-12-27T09:27:00.000+01:00

being alone may be a problem, if the time is telling, that we should share, be shared, love, be loved, give, be given to...not many people think that this is in fact just another day...or...that sharing makes you feel good whenever you decide to do it...

so...share...pictures, knowledge, stuff, whatever, whenever..., at least, you can make someone smile, and a smile can give a lot...life too...

it's so simple...so damn simple...

here is some beautiful music...and some sweet and funny pics...

here's the pianodoc82...from youtube with his amazing 'madly' mix of The Beatles songs

aaaa...and Jon Schmidt...with his original 'All Of Me'

Sulic and Hauser and the Two Cellos

and last but not least...Joshua Bell and 'Summer' made 'presto' Vivaldi's best music under the fingers of one of the greatest musicians of modern times...this guy only makes life worth living...believe me...!

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2011-12-20T10:11:00.000+01:00

well...discovering some really really good looking bodies in there... :)

There...not here.. :)

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2011-12-05T10:01:00.000+01:00

my future home...

:) or this one, haven't decided yet...

anyway... I did some true photos lately...

been thinking about Andrej lately

hm...

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2011-11-21T10:12:00.002+01:00

Nikon Event 2011

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150375315567717.352310.700242716&type=1

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2011-11-07T09:29:00.000+01:00

Monika's her name, she's tiger grey, very twiggy, about 120 days old, 200 grams, still a little scared but getting confidence. Came right from the shelter...
Sara's too good to be refused...

2011-10-16T19:13:00.000+02:00

had a nice 3 hour walk with Ben :)

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2011-10-05T11:27:00.000+02:00

must have some redemption...

the coffee seems to be spicy and it's getting spicier from day to day...

but I must keep on doing what I do best...

Run just before the stuff gets too spicy :)

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2011-10-03T11:14:00.003+02:00

holding on? yes ! hansom, tall, the tallest, well spoken, with manners...all the best, but married? no chance...!

but a cup of coffee can't do significant damage, right?...

when mum's having fun down here...

I can't stand the silence

I wanna stand up, take a bow
Sit down and work it out
I'm the last person in this world
Who wants to see you hurt
Is this the interval, or the end
If we don't talk we can't reconcile
What we really need,
What we know is right

I can't stand the silence
I can't stand the silence
Anymore.
I can't stand the silence
I can't stand the silence
That we're going through...

We gotta work this out
Before it goes too far
We gotta work this out.
Until many have taken the fall
We have to know what we're fighting for
We gotta work this out.

Courtesy of lyricshall.com
If you're searching for reasons
I follow the signs
Or keep running in my direction
I will run at a time
I know it's not easy
But we've come this far
Forgiveness is a revelation
Let me love you now
From where we are

I can't stand the silence
I can't stand the silence
That we're going through...

We gotta work this out
Before it goes too far
We gotta work this out.
Until many have taken the fall
We have to know what we're fighting for
We gotta work this out.

Oohohoo help me work this out! [x3]

I can't stand the silence
I can't stand the silence
Anymore...

this dude has the best voice ever!!!

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2011-09-22T08:59:00.000+02:00

I wish that I was in your arms
Like that Spanish guitar
And you would play me through the night
'Till the dawn...

Toni Braxton's Spanish Guitar

nice

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2011-09-19T09:45:00.000+02:00

Finally raining, end of summer heat, embracing autumn, welcome worm colours..

Struggling to lose some weight...
It's a month now without pasta. potato, bred or rice... stacked on meat vegetables and yoghurt...didn't lost a pound!!! Looks like the diet doesn't work...
I'll cut the milk out...

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2011-09-12T07:15:00.000+02:00

headache...
the third day...
swollen face, hard neck, feels so bad...

Slept all day yesterday...

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2011-09-11T20:28:00.000+02:00

I don't know....

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2011-09-09T16:13:00.002+02:00

No..., really...if I hate something, on the first place there are people that miss appointments, or that are late...
Really...
...a lot disturbing fact!!!...a lot annoying...a lot undesired...

jeah...

but I forgot my phone in the car...and of course, everybody was searching for me...

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2011-09-09T11:23:00.000+02:00

Well...

He's practical, I'm more of a computer freak, He's a metal junky, I'm having fun with with Sims..., I can cook, he can serve, he's a Janice, I'm a Tori, he's Canon, I'm Nikon, both photographer..., he likes to get down, I'm more of an above type...photographing... Age? WTF...it's just a number the society is forcing us with... :)

Got my freaking 3/4 of an hour masking...

Nice...

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2011-09-04T09:04:00.002+02:00

Well, we've been around...
Andrej, his big new 5D Mk II, me and my big old D200...
Got in the car, went out of Koper, direction hills forgotten by men, destination ghost village in the end of an collapsed once upon the time road...
Made some effort to get up there, made big effort and me out of the car, to get down again..., then a beer, some snack and home...

Fantastic!

Vrnjak

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2011-08-25T07:03:00.000+02:00

crazy days
the weather is very heavy, hot and humid...

I gain weight, all fault of my job,...feels like doing counting with a master degree in mathematics... Wake up in the morning, changing batteries in watches half a day, and shooting portraits for photos for documents the other half, here and there an explanation of a dsrl vs. compact, and going home...
Starting to hate it...

Must go...

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2011-08-18T08:10:00.002+02:00

did a photoshoot...
nice, quick, easy
no photo today

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2011-08-07T09:44:00.000+02:00

however it looks, it could be worst, but for better, we must engage ourselves and wrap it up...

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2011-08-06T10:44:00.000+02:00

living la vida loca

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2011-08-02T08:30:00.000+02:00

how many

This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I'll never tread
These are the dreams I'll dream instead
This is the joy that's seldom spread
These are the tears...
The tears we sheared
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head

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2011-08-01T21:04:00.000+02:00

trippin', messing around with my D200 and an almost macro lens...and my dog:)

and later, some (healing) serious photoshop work :) the large is 60MB large so...let's go for s, doing 40x38cm and 11MB

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2011-07-31T18:54:00.000+02:00

cool pics
:)

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2011-07-30T07:44:00.000+02:00

the weather has a sense of humour!
like April, now the sun, a few minutes later the storm, lately windy and then sun...
saving on electricity and if fast enough, you get to spend a few hours on the beach, cuddle under the blanket, avoid watering flowers and have the laundry drayed fast...
above all, I really love not to sweat :)

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2011-07-29T07:31:00.000+02:00

some new gadgets in our home

washing machine
dryer
coolpix s8100
and here you have a large and a thin neighbours sitting with heavy thoughts, looking toward the sunset and having a drink...what a heavy life... :)

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2011-07-17T19:51:00.001+02:00

nothing really

...

slept all day....
at least 4 years old pic...

miss the nice looking body here...
:(

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2011-07-14T20:03:00.000+02:00

revelation day
...but not that much...

I kinda knew what was on the table, call it experience or female sixth sense...intuition...

heavy hot summer day...

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2011-07-13T20:41:00.000+02:00

It is funny...kinda...
I see myself a lot like my mum..., when she was my age now...
The body, the voice, attitude, behaviour...
Must say
not a bad thing...
Just funny...

It's not that I'm having her thoughts, quite the opposite...
How could I
I'm a single mum, she was not...
I have one daughter, she had two...
I'm a hell of a driver, she's still biting the wheel...
I'm social, but not the way she is...and was...
I hang out with people I find interesting, or don't hang out at all...
I remember her being out almost every day a week, many times came home not really sober, very late...all the town new her, I'm not sure if everyone liked her, but she wasn't a pain in the ass anyway...
Not to them at least...
I never saw her as an attractive woman, and I see myself as ..well..., looking OK, despite of a few pounds hanging over here and there...
She has daddy...
He has her

They make a wonderful item, the always did...
I like it!

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2011-07-12T21:15:00.000+02:00

I mean
...
ok
really...

Jesus!!!?

no
not Him

Just screaming out...

wake-up

honey..., you're still alive!!
:)

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2011-07-10T10:30:00.000+02:00

sweet silence

getting up after 10:30am...

falling down after 3am...

the thermometer showing 28°C

moving air with two fens

...

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2011-07-08T09:45:00.000+02:00

freestile and buzz

chasing yourself

dropping guard

killer look

yeah!

I look amazing through photoshop :)

Miraculous

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2011-07-07T10:26:00.000+02:00

I feel lonely...

here you go

I admit it!

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2011-07-06T08:35:00.000+02:00

strange day yesterday...
nothing specially strange, but all together a very strange day...
faces, forgotten and reappearing from nowhere...messing with my mind, and calm and placid soul...
Kind'a... sleeping with the enemy...stuff...
I have no enemy..., there are only people that I don't like that much, that I avoid, that I feel contempt for...
I read somewhere some time ago that the only true enemy a person have is himself...I couldn't agree more...

2011-07-05T09:50:00.001+02:00

tom novy/touch me

We can only understand what we are shown
How was i supposed to know i'm the control?
We can only understand what we are shown
How was i supposed to know i'm the control?

Touch me in the morning and at me at night
Keep my body warm baby you know it feels right
Take it a little higher i'm faking it too
Tell me not to be there i'll feel it with you feel it with you

Ha yeah ooh touch me in the morning
Ooh and touch me at night
I need you so much tell me not to be there
What you're feeling i'll feel it with you

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ooh ha ha yeah ha ha

We can only understand what we are shown
How was i supposed to know i'm the control?

You touch my heart i touch you baby
My heart is reaching for you
I'll taste your love and take your chances
I'm craving for you

Touch me in the morning

Move a little closer move a little closer
Move a little closer closer ooh move a little closer
I'm perfect with you i'm perfect with you
I need you baby i need you so much

You touch my body's special places
My heart reaches for you

Drawn World/Madonna
...
The face of you
My substitute for love
My substitute for love
Should I wait for you
My substitute for love
My substitute for love
...

no blog

2011-07-03T08:31:00.000+02:00

Love

sometimes means walking alone...
sometimes senseless
sometimes's the roof on your house
sometimes the door
sometimes just the key...
sometimes not
Sometimes to abandon bad habits
sometimes it is one
sometimes a decision
sometimes what's left
Sometimes is manipulation
sometimes the result
sometimes too late
sometimes too soon
Sometimes there is no other way
sometimes hidden
sometimes shown wrong
Sometimes hurts
sometimes sounds good
better
the best...
Sometimes it's just living the day
sometimes to just give it a try
Sometimes is waiting for the last chance
Sometimes is going away
sometimes hope
sometimes hopeless
and...
sometimes is feeling lost and saying goodbye in the poring rain...

no blog

2011-07-01T06:49:00.000+02:00

OK
I'll try to do my part...I'll listen...but
I really have this feeling that I won't be listening to any kind of emotion...
pity

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2011-06-29T06:36:00.000+02:00

the plug is in...air condition plug...it's getting hot...30°C inside yesterday...too much
He is irritating me just with his presence, nervous, jumpy, searching for stuff to complain about...complaining about everything! I'm getting tired of this job!
Andrej's happy with the grip, and in an hour he'll be happy with the remote flash trigger too... I feel OK...
I must go see Alenka today, many questions, simple answers...a little gift for her, because the baby's having everything and beyond..., the little Niko Robin...
Saturday...nothing...
Sunday...beach
Monday...nothing...
yesterday...nothing...
3:1...
Feeling anxious about something...really don't know what...like I was about to...something...
Bought a dress on-line yesterday, on one of out web pages...and later read that they need from 4 to 6 week for delivery!!...Never again!!
Waiting for headphones from Hong Kong, a tiger's eye gem...for 'sista' and then there's nothing...

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2011-06-24T09:19:00.000+02:00

digging global underground...
fancy

nice

I like :)

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2011-06-23T11:11:00.000+02:00

no...really
my face is getting old...

you know
wrinkles

lack of elasticity...

spots...

those...kind'a swelled under eye spots...

and hands...

not to talk about cellulite...

hanging tits...but...

the worst to see is the neck and arms... biceps kind'a felt on the opposite side when trying to show it...

ridiculous...

like an old pillow loosing tenseness... grouse!!

but...
believe it or not...still doesn't feel like that's me

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2011-06-22T08:00:00.000+02:00

put some leftovers on my hair
I'm blond again...

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2011-06-21T09:23:00.000+02:00

download speed 9.8mb/s
upload speed 0.8mb/s
nice

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2011-06-20T07:59:00.000+02:00

recharged

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2011-06-19T17:52:00.000+02:00

all-right!! a year older
so what??

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2011-06-17T05:56:00.000+02:00

yet again...
but today another soul has been born...
After straggle, disappointment and tears, she's born, a she, a little Robin and she's really special, because she made happy everybody from the day she was created, and only now she starts to live, and everything she'll do, she'll make them happy because there's probably nothing a child can do, to make hate himself by his parents..

In vsi srečni so bili:)

2011-06-16T05:51:00.001+02:00

5.38AM
Yesterday I had my sweet afternoon nap, an hour or so..., fantastic! I thought I couldn't go to bed in the evening, but then a Mission Impossible 3 made me... An action film that make you go to bed... well sounds lousy... :) Makes it...a full hour, maybe two plus from 10PM to 5:20AM next morning, yes, enough...eight and something... I feel ok now, we'll see later...
I have an appointment with Andrej at seven, never had one this early if not for work, well, he owns me some money, but it still feels early :)
Yesterday I had my eyes painted in green, today I decided pink, and tomorrow probably blue...who knows what Saturday will bring. 'Sista' is reaching a hand and she'll help me with the party for ten that day, the day of my birthday...
ok
that's enough crap for this kind of daytime...

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2011-06-12T19:57:00.000+02:00

tripping...

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2011-06-11T21:28:00.002+02:00

and there she goes with bubbles...

I really happen to have too much skin :)...Build it up while years passing...
Thanks God There's Photoshop :)
God or Gods and Goddesses.. geniuses in informatics ...who knows if they have also too much skin :)
all bright my day today...
had the nice afternoon nap...
an early evening bath with bubbles...
I love bubbles...
wont a big bath tub in a studio as big as three trucks put together side by side best lights for it an a FX camera with the top of the top of lenses...
a photographer would be nice, but I'd prefer an ultra big flat screen connected to the camera and nobody around when the creativity hits me...and the hansom photographer watching from the corner :)

yes
and a bucket of ice-cream and a golden cuckoo clock with the pool and a 300ft yacht in it... :)
ok...at least that 5DMkII
:)

no blog

2011-06-10T08:21:00.000+02:00

Well..., looks like my eyes still does the thing...
Magnesium, vitamin E and potassium as a solution for hair, nails, skin, muscle cramps and some other health issues a thirty seven years old woman can encounter... 60 pills, a face cream, like perhaps the one with almond oils, one for eyes contour, like the tube with a roller from the mighty France... a fat non-ion urea stuff my lady doctor is prescribing me for hands and legs, and or course three or four items for teeth... If I quit smoking, I would look like a seventeen... yeah... ehehehe...
so far
dark violet nail polish on all nails and heavy make-up... 'vodka connecting people' on my black t-shirt, short jeans, a gecko and the usual tiger's eye stone round my neck...My very big Swatch in rubber, pink and almost transparent, off with all stainless steel or sterling silver and this is it...

still fantasizing plugged in to some special piano solo's, yesterday I almost fell asleep plugged in... eleven am!!
Bought a grip, and a remote control unit for the 5DMkII for Andrej, 75€ without taxes... Here he would pay more then 500€
Will see
I'm too good!!
:)

no blog

2011-06-08T08:20:00.000+02:00

must be the hardest guy to reach ...ever... So, anybody that knows me, will know that I'm NOT the right kind of person to be standing by waiting...

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2011-06-05T18:11:00.000+02:00

unforced errors...really don't know who I'm shouting for there...Nadal I think...Roland Garros... tennis, final...Federer's boring for my opinion...

This is what I do now...

all day in fact!
Pelting rain all day...
Excellent!

the day I said yes :)...
the dress was awesome...

my hair a big mistake the hair dresser made...
on my wedding day

would you believe it?...
looks ok here

not perfect!

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2011-06-04T21:19:00.001+02:00

Well...I made some pics with the famous Canon 5D MkII... :) in a flower boutique a few steps from my work...with Andrej that held the flesh for me... that have been taking pictures with his camera...I have to say that long time has passed since I felt the warmth of a person standing that close to me...that isn't Sara or my sisters kids...or...whoever...Must say...some beautiful memories raised from ashes... I'm listening to some spectacular piano solo music made by James Cahall
and other artists from
http://solopiano.com/

I had one of the best sleep ever last night..., can't tell why..., just remember the last few seconds of joy from my dream...I carried the smile all day...must be the great music I've been listening to...
well, all flowery, sound fantastic, all coloured... and...warm...I feel really heavenly...

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2011-05-31T19:39:00.000+02:00

Not happy
in fact

thinking hard to move on...

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2011-04-14T08:43:00.000+02:00

undisclosed desires...
sometimes, it looks like fun, sometimes duty..., sometimes lust, sometimes pleasure and sometimes looks like a stupid gesture...
It pays off when there's something to count...
It looses it's charm when the way home is without company.
It's all fine, when you get...home..., because home is what we all need
I'm home right now..., feeling safe and me and nobody can take this away.

no blog

2011-04-09T21:29:00.000+02:00

school's fun...

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2011-03-30T10:49:00.000+02:00

Finally, after a few decades..., I understand mum's claim, that sometimes keeping the mouth shut, pays it's role...Destroy the enemy with silence..., ignoring him, eyes down..., no sadness..., no anger..., just disappointment..
Can be easy...
Very effective...
It's pleasant to see him tripping round you...
ok
I'm kinda nervous this days..., found the family...the new one, but until now without a face, a fact, a certainty...
Will go on, will go away, will move on...will go on the second place...

no blog

2011-03-26T12:05:00.007+01:00

...and there's the fact...
shooting here and there, no purpose, no goal, no idea..., just clicking...meanwhile..., nothing..., no answer, no text...

Oh, yes..., no money too...

Well, later I went on an hour of driving, stopped on a beach, shot an entire 36 film, a few raw on D50 and D200..., missed a call..., called back with no answer..., found an interesting image on FB
cropped some pictures, posted those on FB, watched a bad, a worst and a the absolute crap stuff on TV! Now The Three Kings, did see it before...
...felt asleep during the crap stuff...being stopped with the phone ring, got the call...will get the image I wanted...and...

will post it here eventually...now...27.3.2011...up here...some lens correction and colour enhancement...with HDR

one million thoughts, one million wishes..., ten millions ideas..., a non comprehensive number of parts put together to make ME...

no blog

2011-03-17T12:06:00.001+01:00

Headphones on...the third hour :)
listening to 3 doors down...
like the sound of the voice of the singer...
found them from a link on FB...

the song landing in london made me do this...

Changes:

I'm not suposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb

I try to hold this Under control
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone
Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone
I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn
It feel like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world

I try to hold this Under control
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm blind and shakin'
Bound and breaking
I hope I make it through all these changes

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, I hate this
But I'm going through changes, changes

no blog

2011-03-16T10:03:00.001+01:00

as little as an adapter, as little as a box of cigarettes, and the music's on again, no hiss...back to normal...fucking perfect!
black drama make-up yesterday, all eyes right on my face, in my eyes, a magnet..., not sure that the make-up had all the credit...:)
had a full hour of chat with a boy that came to buy a Bowens light set..., and later a chat with a elderly lady that worked a whole life with photography. The knowledge I'll never achieve, because time went by, and film is no longer in use, as it was back then...

it's raining outside, but kinda worm weather for middle march...15°C..., nice!
flat stomach, must be the syrup I had Saturday, and it feels great...
very much unhappy with hair...

I've been thinking...a year ago I've been hibernating, no spring fever after it...as it is now...I miss my afternoon nap, very much...Sunday I dropped down just after noon, and woke up three hours later like pulled out from a spin-drier..., all wrinkled...
Can't wait for the summer to come..., short or no sleeves, open windows, life, long days

My little neighbour and me here...

no blog

2011-03-15T10:15:00.003+01:00

nothing really...
cloudy, worm enough outside..., modem out, no tv, black nails for a week, two rings bought on ebay, right now...a bit could, sweating feet, some old hits on a local radio station that I listen on-line...
a bit nervous, don't know why...
traced a few looks onto me..., probably wondering why this deep freeze attitude... I can be so incredibly fucking distant and firm...absolute zero,
Like drunk, words just coming out of my mouth, without alcohol, just this bit of nervousness and a few things going wrong...or the other way around...
I hate stuff to go wrong, not working properly, not working at all...or the hiss out of speakers... imagine...me...listening to the hiss...Jesus!!!
I saw Elvisa yesterday...all wrong..., divorced, having troubles with the ex-husband, all drowning in hate and anger...., and she don't have children...and she's my age...feel so sorry for her...Right now, I wouldn't think twice if someone offered me a ticket out of here..., maybe even in some could place like Iceland..., or Canada...I would pack my bags, and Sara's and Ben and just go away..., forever...Yeah, running from problems...the brightest thing to do...
Don't give a fucking nothing to anyone, take all, keep all, demand all, have all, legally or not! I'm a fucking 138 on NASA's test!! It is crime!! Drama...Tragic comedy!
Shakespeare!

no blog

2011-03-14T11:28:00.002+01:00

Fuckin' perfect...
Well, there's a bran new tv here, it takes half a living room..., this lcd screen...bad resolution, no full-HD signals in this fuckin' little country...but I did see the Black Swan in full-HD blue-ray quality, over VGA... a film shoot on a 35mm film :) or less, don't remember...nice old-fashion grain and this really great story...Didn't quite know the story of this ballet... Great acting...all of them...
Thoughts...
Japan, but first maybe Iceland...
My big F5 and the digital shit...
Yes...
Japan...not before summer, they've had this big earthquake...they'll rebuilt the damage...
Iceland...
Reykjavik...
don't know why, colours maybe, steam and ice...very little vegetation...horses..., big musicians yet truly undiscovered...like Vika...
Had a five hours journey with her music yesterday...
I hate iTunes...if only they'd put paypal as choice for payment...to buy music...better, or the best quality music...I'd certainly buy Vika's...
Illness made me go away...funny...a really bad flue... made him non-important...

I feel colours...

no blog

2011-02-21T08:40:00.001+01:00

Music...
lots of it
beautiful music...all piano music...some best vocals the world's proud to have..., some best sounds ever...just lots of it...lots of music...
hours and hours of music...
all you need is a PC, some great player, great headphones and time...

the songs without a title are form vkgoeswild or...viki....and she's awesome!! and the two piano peace; the white castle and the next plateau are Keiko Matsui's.
From 'Cooling' to the bottom are all Tori Amos's songs...

no blog

2011-02-20T09:12:00.002+01:00

no blog

2011-02-20T08:55:00.001+01:00

No blog again...nothing to share...nothing, just absolute zero...

no blog

2011-02-16T10:28:00.001+01:00

KillTheSecret

destination =>absolute zero

no blog

2011-02-16T09:18:00.001+01:00

maaaaaaa
confusion....
hope
I'm lost...

need music...
I need the sound to meditate...
meditate to relax
relax to reach me again..
tu build this broken fence back up, to build it wider, higher, stronger then ever...to keep myself away from confusion and hopeless confusion...
I need some wild S with a total stranger...
run
yes!
to run...
It's like when you think that alcohol isn't the right way to forget...
it isn't
but for a few hours, those worst hours...It erases the bitter burning pain of the braking heart

no blog

2011-02-15T12:04:00.002+01:00

If not now...then when?
If not this way...then how...?
If not at all...then why even think about it...?
If no thoughts... then what to exist for?

Makes it...now-for existence

Now

this way

to be...

alive...

Alive?
What for?

to love...

Love
Now
This way
For existence...

Love-for existence...

:) I like it!

no blog

2011-02-04T10:39:00.001+01:00

And there's GODSKITCHEN!
There they cook trance..., best trance ever...
And there's Sennheiser...and 109db of sound coming up my auditory nerves, and my feet moving, my head following them...my mind completely in it...
and there is the ONE...

no blog

2011-01-12T15:43:00.000+01:00

nothing really...
looks like everything's on stand-by...

no blog

2011-01-04T09:49:00.000+01:00

I need to run away, still...

But this time, the reason is far from the old one..., it's coming to me, a year has passed, and I realise just now that this is no good...In the minute I see, I have to go...I will go away as soon as the chance will show..., The change brought better times, always, so I'm not afraid to take the turn...

Some bright and loud minutes with my little angel...

no blog

2010-12-27T18:54:00.002+01:00

There's only one way out, and it starts with little whispers...

no blog

2010-12-27T07:10:00.002+01:00

no blog

2010-12-26T21:57:00.002+01:00

Talk to my lips

I'm

innocent

and selfish

Letter for you

2010-12-26T19:37:00.007+01:00

I watch, I see, I do and I hear you... I hear what you're saying, I see what you're watching at, I do and I have to run... away...because I'm loosing the strength, my body's giving up on me, my eyes wont stay up there, they are creeping down toward the softest part of you... literally and in fact...I know the softness of those lips, I know it...and I know me...and I know it's almost impossible to me to let those lips go...If you'd help, if you only could help, you should do it, you would have to do it, you need to do it..., keep away with those lips, away from me, from my loneliness, from my pathetic existence...called life...

There was no loneliness, no awareness of the incoherence of myself...before your day...I didn't know, notice, see, or wont to see...I didn't, you went away before, you disappeared, forever...that had a time limit...Forever had an end, and I accepted that there was this end, that became a beginning...

I wont to know why, if is it me, is it you, is it beauty, attractiveness, sexual need, just adventure to have...What?

What is it that drives your eyes into mine, your hand round my waist, your lips close to mine...too close to me...?

I cannot erase the feeling of those lips onto mine, I cannot do anything less or more...then run away...I feel I have to take my distance, embrace my pathetic loneliness..., just to be safe...because you don't talk, you don't say, you are not alone...and maybe you're less pathetic and lonely then me...

I can wear skirts, deep low-neck dresses, lipstick, nail polish and high heels..., for you to notice,... I can wear boots, military pants and gross t-shirts and you'd still knew what's under it...

No way other then words, and me to believe it... No way other then honesty, the truth, and me to be the ONLY one...

Only me

or the little pathetic life...

better be alone, then waiting for anyone to make me company when the situation allows, or the second one...

Please, oh God...If there's anything I wish, it's peace and because happiness is a luxury of those who cannot judge for themselves... and a curse to those, who can..., I wish you to freeze my wishes...

I'm cursed with your lips, my love, I am, and I know it...

I don't know, I used every possible approach..., I lowered my eyes, I rise my head, I smiled, I turn my head away...nothing worked...so...so

I'll follow the moment...

It will come to me, some day, the moment...

you wont...

winter2010

2010-12-20T13:39:00.005+01:00

youtube

no blog

2010-12-18T16:56:00.000+01:00

I forgot to ...
ok

some little tiny winter bones...

Ken il guerriero - Sigla integrale (1986)

2010-11-20T16:42:00.004+01:00

so many...many dreams...never forgotten...so innocent, so pure..., so...far away...

travelling back...

no blog

2010-11-19T13:20:00.002+01:00

Got a new page..., created...

easy, fun, quick, not complicated...
I like :)

http://www.wix.com/majampika/majampika

and something that the all mighty iSockphotos liked

:)

no blog

2010-11-06T18:01:00.001+01:00

I wont it all
big, small, brown, soft and tender, harsh, standing, peaceful, yellow, awaiting, built and none...

here's yellow

no blog

2010-10-26T21:08:00.000+02:00

Help yourself

go get the beer

lie to me

secrets that I tell

that I don't

that I have or not

secrets that I see, imagine, wish for, hate

but there comes mail, the mail I never expected...

I'm a nurse, primary, but I love photography...the most

there are two kinds of people

the ones with imagination and those who follow...

I choose to do

I did before, I stopped and I start doing again...

so I ended writing a letter to a total stranger, that isn't so very much different after all...I asked permission, because I lost my tongue watching the video he made, not just that...much more than that...

why am I so fascinated by great imagination, great ideas, great performances, great voices, great minds?

I've got an answer...

I did get it!!!

Canon 5D Mark II

2010-10-22T10:12:00.000+02:00

Ken Arlideg!

Coke "Bottles" Canon 5D MKII test/spec spot. from Ken Arlidge on Vimeo.

Kaiser Permanente "Tick" - Canon 5D Spot from Ken Arlidge on Vimeo.

wooow!!

no blog

2010-10-20T12:38:00.000+02:00

nothing really...

bending over..., knocking on doors, looking for something, guessing why not..., being wrong, destroying evidences, hoping for liberty, salvation, resurrection, empty rooms and silence, but this is possible just in Hollywood!!
My stupidity overcomes the power of the fire-storm following the explosion of the super volcano! They shouldn't have invented the hibernation, because I might get some even more stupid ideas!!

Someone should, would have to, must...stop me!

no blog

2010-10-08T11:59:00.000+02:00

nothing really...

well obviously it's the period, they say...like in toddler's age...every change in behaviour, every progress in skills or every new word, face expression, everything it's al just that faze, period...

well...

I don't know...

nothing really...

no blog

2010-10-04T11:43:00.000+02:00

well...
pink today...

unhappy with hair...

need some speed...

need some action...

need

well...

the 'chemical brother' I've invented lately...

and had some problems with my EA game..., and Ivan's computer, and weather, and...my little secret wish, undiscovered fully, haven't manage to take his hat off of his head yet..., I still see his eyes watching me, but can't understand if just because he was trying to understand or more...
I don't know if I wont to understand, or keep on trying to...
I don't know why him..., but eyes certainly counts...

counts a lot...

no blog

2010-09-25T08:27:00.000+02:00

Late evening, two beers, rainstorm, photoshop, chat, and nothing else...not interested

no blog

2010-09-24T12:12:00.002+02:00

Let's go bring the house down with skills...to help, to train, to be important, helpful, big! Old shoes, newer warn, very expensive but highly uncomfortable..., pink and violet and striped hair-bow, purple socks, heavy coloured shirt, pink lip glow...
feel good, hungry but happy...

dedicated to my friend Milan

no blog

2010-09-10T09:33:00.000+02:00

Do have a vision, do have a goal, do have some certainties, have fancy full scope, have necessary continuity... , have dialogue, chit-chat, constructive, empty, heavy, pointless and with purpose. Have hair growing, better nails, less kilos, rather good health, some money, and substantially enough clothes, both of us.
Have new stuff to read on tweeter, mostly advertising, but not just that. I really don't miss that much from my past..., maybe just a little of that youth, energy to move, go, do things...
Met a Swedish man yesterday, interesting the white beard, like a captain of a transatlantic cruiser, and he was an employee of one currently docked at the port..., no idea what kind of employee, and he said he's coming back in two weeks, to decide to buy a D300, change the D80 he had with him.
Captain Cook but very polite, gentle and nice spoken...and not old.
Vanilla and lemon...

Need to buy some air balloons for kids that would have to come tomorrow for a small photo-shoot here. Mum and three kids, me and the 'gun', or the good old D200...
If the weather allows...
need just that little bit of sun before lunch, then the sky can fall down if it wont's, I'll be building a house...
I'll take the Yashica too and no Ben!
Played truant the blogger for a while...

I'd like to meet Dash Berlin, bought a long sleeve shirt on his page, with Miuky loves Dash Berlin written on the front...rather expensive..., hopefully excellent quality material...
Meet?...
well, speak to him..., I've got the impression he's a quiet, focused, bright person...
A sentence can hide much more then words in between...

a stolen view in my little town

Itzhak Perlman (Schindler's List)

2010-08-27T23:47:00.000+02:00

It makes me stop, freeze, it makes me cry, think of the red coat, think of all the bad people can do, and how big the hope can get, and how strong the human will can become when..., when... there's nothing left in a person, only the will, only that, and nothing else...and all we can do is honour them with the memory and tears, and empathy and this exceptional music...

It's sad that the best sound, the one that most touches us cones from our pain...

Into Dust, Mazzy Star

2010-08-27T23:35:00.001+02:00

Still falling
Breathless and on again
Inside today
Beside me today
Around broken in two
Till you eyes shed
Into dust

Like two strangers
Turning into dust
Till my hand shook with the way I fear

I could possibly be fading
Or have something more to gain
I could feel myself growing colder
I could feel myself under your fate
Under your fate

It was you breathless and tall
I could feel my eyes turning into dust
And two strangers turning into dust
Turning into dust

no blog

2010-08-25T09:58:00.000+02:00

Based on my experience... I'll miss my sunshine tomorrow!

koper

2010-08-15T22:32:00.001+02:00

Click on the picture, some more Koper hidden on picassa

no blog

2010-08-13T01:01:00.000+02:00

starry night

cinematic orchestra arrival of the birds

2010-08-11T23:45:00.000+02:00

Best music there is...

Train drops of jupiter

2010-08-10T20:08:00.001+02:00

train/drops of Jupiter

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there’s time to grow, hey, hey

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as plain ol’ jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you’re wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way

no blog

2010-08-03T10:45:00.002+02:00

Message to Maxxooo

veš kaj je mogoče edino, ki bi lahko rekla da je razika med tabo in goranom, to da ga nisem nikoli držala za kurac, če sem lahko prostaška, ampak sem mu bila lepa...v to nisem nikoli dvomila...in kot tako me je hotel vsepovsod, biti z mano, bil je z mano 5-6 dni na teden, 3 leta...ni čudno da se je ženi stemnilo...in bila sva skupaj v vsem, vsepovsod, prevozila sva tisoče kilometrov med vzhodom in zahodom evrope, res...dneve in dneve sva prevozila...kombi, cimos ali karkoli, francija...karkoli, mislim, ni bilo sobote ko ne bi bila skupaj kjerkoli, on na mojih rejvih, jaz na njegovih balkanjadah...sodelovanje, delitev, skupaj

in to pogrešam, ne njega kot takega ampak to da sem nekomu lepa in da me hoče s sabo, skupaj v vsem...tudi slikanju...

ARE YOU HUNGRY ?

no blog

2010-08-02T20:55:00.000+02:00

M...
I'll try to write...

the finished product will be here, I suppose, if I succeed it's going to be in a few parts...

I already did a novel like one...many years ago...300 pages...so...

the start is here, the title and the cover :)
if lucky, I'll get it translated in English...if I'll make it to the end, of course!

Girl with a gun

Moloko - Music Video : Forever More

2010-08-01T18:27:00.000+02:00

here - now - forever

Moloko/Forever More

What if I drown in this sea of devotion
Just a stone left unturned
My need is deep
Wide endless oceans
Feel it furious
The fire burns on

Let there be love
Everlasting
And it will live eternally
Will we receive without ever asking?
I'm just curious

Got to find me somebody
But there's nobody
To love me
And it's driving me crazy
There's nobody to love me

Somebody tell me
How could there be nobody
To love me
And it's driving me crazy
There's nobody to love me

Somebody tell me
How could there be nobody
Nobody to love me
And this life is so empty
There's nobody to love me

Endless tears
Forever joy
To feel most every feeling
Forever more

Endless tears
Forever joy
To feel most every feeling
Forever more

Endless tears
Forever joy
To feel most every feeling
Forever more

Endless tears
Forever joy
To feel most every feeling
Forever more

And if I drown in this sea of devotion
Just a stone left unturned
My need is deep
Wide endless oceans
Feel it furious
The fire burns on

Let there be love
Everlasting
And it will live eternally
Will we receive without ever asking?
I'm just curious

Don't want to see me crying
Just want to see me flying
I need to get so high and
Want somebody to blow my mind

Don't want to see me crying
Just want to see me flying
I need to get so high and
Want don't you blow my mind
Blow my mind
Blow my mind

Got to find me somebody
But there's nobody
To love me
Anybody could love me

And it's driving me crazy
There's nobody to love me
Anybody could love me

Somebody to hold my hand
Someone who understands
Somebody to help me write
The poetry of life

Someone to love me
Someone who loves me
Ooh baby

Enless tears
Forever joy
To feel most every feeling
Forever more

Enless tears
Forever joy
To feel most every feeling
Forever more

Enless tears
Forever joy
To feel most every feeling
Forever more

Enless tears
Forever joy
To feel most every feeling
Forever more

Got to find me somebody
But there's nobody
To love me

And it's driving me crazy
There's nobody to love me

Most every feeling
To feel most every feeling

no blog

2010-07-30T12:25:00.000+02:00

and there's the fact that when I do, I need to do more, better, the best...quite unreachable

no blog

2010-07-29T13:20:00.000+02:00

well
I did my best
as much as two 300W lamps and a primitive flash can do
with some white sheets...
and black ones for the background...