glasses

Feeling extremely bad...
The weather's sad and wet and cold and not appropriate for us, living on the coast, used to have the sun and light jackets...
I have this usual problem, everyone has, sometimes, some people because too much, mostly not enough...and I'm the perfect example of 'normal' person...
Kisses all over yesterday, mostly just because supposed to, expected, duty kisses..., a few sincere and full of pristine wishes, just a few...and just one or two kisses and no words, even if I wished to tell, to say a lot...wished to include me in wishing... complicate to explain  and not say all of the story...
I'm a master of 'not explain' directly, let people think, mostly get it wrong, or don't get it at all...
I wished to drop my head on a window, for as long as it was needed to cold out a little, with frozen mind, watching outside, watching the snow come down, on our coastline, yes, the snow..., but all I've got was 30 seconds of wings and a friend that followed this child that came out of me, and catch the snow drops with the thong...
an elderly man stood there, with a smile on his face, so, for 30 seconds I've made life look better to not just one child, but me and this two person along with me...
all this happened yesterday, so the fairytale lasted for 30 seconds, a whole day ago...to far to feel that snow still freezing my thong ... to far to remember what went on my mind on that occasion, when a kiss was not a duty...
but my mind is overflowed with it, and with thoughts, and as I feel this bad, thoughts cannot be bright...or positive in any way...

wishes, yes, glass...my forehead on it...with short sleeves, in a very worm ambient, but as cold as the deepest hole in the north pole could be...a little and short oasis, that last as a duty kiss could last,  and then the child running out...
I could scream, but the blue uniform shut my mouth...
I could just watch, but my eyes were showing the battling, kicking child above a woman's body...I needed arms to worm me up, not stoves or fabrics or things that don't carry life in it...
I'm so sad..., not just because there was a duty kiss and no words said, but because there's no way that he and I could share my thoughts..., alone, on a island called relationship..., any kind of relationship...
It's not that I figure it out yesterday, there's the fact that I know this all along, and the lack of wishes, true wishes, wishes that could eventually have some chance to get fulfilled and the lack of what most 'normal' people need, money, here, exactly that, I sad it..., make all what's round me look worst...

I'm going to keep on going...as always, just because it's the way to be...