Wednesday, March 30, 2011

no blog

Finally, after a few decades..., I understand mum's claim, that sometimes keeping the mouth shut, pays it's role...Destroy the enemy with silence..., ignoring him, eyes down..., no sadness..., no anger..., just disappointment..
Can be easy...
Very effective...
It's pleasant to see him  tripping round you...
ok
I'm kinda nervous this days..., found the family...the new one, but until now without a face, a fact, a certainty...
Will go on, will go away, will move on...will go on the second place...

Saturday, March 26, 2011

no blog

...and there's the fact...
shooting here and there, no purpose, no goal, no idea..., just clicking...meanwhile..., nothing..., no answer, no text...
Oh, yes..., no money too...



Well, later I went on an hour of driving, stopped on a beach, shot an entire 36 film, a few raw on D50 and D200..., missed a call..., called back with no answer..., found an interesting image on FB
cropped some pictures, posted those on FB, watched a bad, a worst and a the absolute crap stuff on TV! Now The Three Kings, did see it before...
...felt asleep during the crap stuff...being stopped with the phone ring, got the call...will get the image I wanted...and...
will post it here eventually...now...27.3.2011...up here...some lens correction and colour enhancement...with HDR



one million thoughts, one million wishes..., ten millions ideas..., a non comprehensive number of parts put together to make ME...

Thursday, March 17, 2011

no blog

Headphones on...the third hour :)
listening to 3 doors down...
like the sound of the voice of the singer...
found them from a link on FB...

the song landing in london made me do this...


























Changes:

I'm not suposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am 
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel) 
I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs 
There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb 

I try to hold this Under control 
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows 

Now I'm going through changes, changes 
God, I feel so frustrated lately 
When I get suffocated, save me 
Now I'm going through changes, changes 

I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone 
Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone 
I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn 
It feel like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world 

I try to hold this Under control 
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows 

Now I'm going through changes, changes 
God, I feel so frustrated lately 
When I get suffocated, save me 
Now I'm going through changes, changes 

I'm blind and shakin'
Bound and breaking 
I hope I make it through all these changes 

Now I'm going through changes, changes 
God, I feel so frustrated lately 
When I get suffocated, save me 
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it 

Now I'm going through changes, changes 
God, I feel so frustrated lately 
When I get suffocated, I hate this 
But I'm going through changes, changes

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

no blog

as little as an adapter, as little as a box of cigarettes, and the music's on again, no hiss...back to normal...fucking perfect!
black drama make-up yesterday, all eyes right on my face, in my eyes, a magnet..., not sure that the make-up had all the credit...:)
had a full hour of chat with a boy that came to buy a Bowens light set..., and later a chat with a elderly lady that worked a whole life with photography. The knowledge I'll never achieve, because time went by, and film is no longer in use, as it was back then...

it's raining outside, but kinda worm weather for middle march...15°C..., nice!
flat stomach, must be the syrup I had Saturday, and it feels great...
very much unhappy with hair...

I've been thinking...a year ago I've been hibernating, no spring fever after it...as it is now...I miss my afternoon nap, very much...Sunday I dropped down just after noon, and woke up three hours later like pulled out from a spin-drier..., all wrinkled...
 Can't wait for the summer to come..., short or no sleeves, open windows, life, long days

My little neighbour and me here...

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

no blog

nothing really...
cloudy, worm enough outside..., modem out, no tv, black nails for a week, two rings bought on ebay, right now...a bit could, sweating feet, some old hits on a local radio station that I listen on-line...
a bit nervous, don't know why...
traced a few looks onto me..., probably wondering why this deep freeze attitude... I can be so incredibly fucking distant and firm...absolute zero,
Like drunk, words just coming out of my mouth, without alcohol,  just this bit of nervousness and a few things going wrong...or the other way around...
I hate stuff to go wrong, not working properly, not working at all...or the hiss out of speakers... imagine...me...listening to the hiss...Jesus!!!
I saw Elvisa yesterday...all wrong..., divorced, having troubles with the ex-husband, all drowning in hate and anger...., and she don't have children...and she's my age...feel so sorry for her...Right now, I wouldn't think twice if someone offered me a ticket out of here..., maybe even in some could place like Iceland..., or Canada...I would pack my bags, and Sara's and Ben and just go away..., forever...Yeah, running from problems...the brightest thing to do...
Don't give a fucking nothing to anyone, take all, keep all, demand all, have all, legally or not! I'm a fucking 138 on NASA's test!!  It is crime!! Drama...Tragic comedy!
Shakespeare!

Monday, March 14, 2011

no blog

Fuckin' perfect...
Well, there's a bran new tv here, it takes half a living room..., this lcd screen...bad resolution, no full-HD signals in this fuckin' little country...but I did see the Black Swan in full-HD blue-ray quality, over VGA... a film shoot on a 35mm film :) or less, don't remember...nice old-fashion grain and this really great story...Didn't quite know the story of this ballet... Great acting...all of them...
Thoughts...
Japan, but first maybe Iceland...
My big F5 and the digital shit...
Yes...
Japan...not before summer, they've had this big earthquake...they'll rebuilt the damage...
Iceland...
Reykjavik...
don't know why, colours maybe, steam and ice...very little vegetation...horses..., big musicians yet truly undiscovered...like Vika...
Had a five hours journey with her music yesterday...
I hate iTunes...if only they'd put paypal as choice for payment...to buy music...better, or the best quality music...I'd certainly buy Vika's...
Illness made me go away...funny...a really bad flue... made him non-important...























I feel colours...